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   Levy's suggestions would be okay except that a 386 is just too old to use most of today's components.
   The 386 used an AT form factor case and power supply. The AT power connection actually used two separate plugs side by side, making it easy to misconnect and ruin the motherboard (just remember the black wires go in the middle). Whereas a new motherboard uses the ATX form factor and requires a compatible case and power supply. An ATX motherboard uses a one-piece keyed power connection, making it very hard to misconnect. ATX also uses different postions for the motherboard's mounting screws.
   It's possible that the 386 that the co-worker brought in used an IDE drive, in which case Levy was correct in say it could still be used. But frequently 386 era machines used now long dead connection methods, making the hard drive
   To upgrade a 386 you could get a new case and etc. but then you're not really upgrading the 386, you're starting from scratch building a new machine and using the old keyboard, floppy drive and maybe the mouse and monitor.

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   Functionally, drag-n-drop and copy-n-paste are the same. The file tranfer is done in the same way with the same IO functions.
   The caller's problem is likely caused by a file system limitation. The drive probably shipped formatted FAT32, which can't store files larger than 4 GiB. Because the caller had no problem with these big files on his computer's 80 GiB hard drive, it must have been formatted NTFS. Since NTFS can store files that are as big as the partition (minus the space taken by the file system's metadata). So a 60 GiB drive could store a file that's nearly 60 GiB. What the caller needs to do is re-format or convert the USB drive to NTFS (before doing either, the data should be backed up). Here's two pages that show how to convert it: Here and Here(for XP).
   Here's a blog entry which describes the same problem.

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   The maximum amount of RAM that a computer can handle is dictated by the Motherboard's chipset. Different chipsets can have different limits and capabilities.
   The caller's machine was using a Pentium 3, so it may be able to handle the upgrade if needed. However my own P3 machine IS limited to 256 MiB (2x128 MiB DIMMs).

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   Parking is an old term for the process whereby a hard drive's read/write heads are placed in an area of the disk that isn't used for data (the landing zone). Modern hard drives will Auto-Park when they lose power, whereas older drives did need to be Parked (using a utility) before the computer was turned off.
   Next, the USB plug is a grounded connection. Therefore, as long as the device is connected, a build up of Static Electricity isn't a problem because the device is not insolated from the computer. Static electricity is only an issue when the device is first plugged in.
   Considering that the Universal Serial Bus is designed to be Hot Swappable, and thus have devices plugged or removed while the Bus is powered, the possibilty of damage from plugging and unplugging is infinitesimal. Which brings us finally to why we shouldn't just unplug some USB devices.
   USB devices which can store data do require several steps to remove them. The steps are as follow: Double-click the "Unplug or Eject Hardware" icon in the System Tray and from the new window select the device and click the Stop button.
   Contrary to Levy's statement, Stopping a device does not turn off the power to its port. Part of the Stopping process involves removing the device's drive letter (if it has one), but most importantly flushing any unwritten data to the device. Without going through the Stopping process there could be data in RAM that would be lost because it wasn't written to the device.
   Mp3 clips for both quotes are here: March 14th and May 1st.

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   That's a possibility, however heat is not always a bad thing for a CD.
   I know of one case where the temporary application of heat is good. That being the many times that I've boiled DVDs and CDs to heat polish them, so that they will play properly. Here's a post I made awhile back which explains the process (username DuneBoy). For informational purposes only, i.e., don't hurt yourself (or stuff) and sue me.

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   I've done a comparaison between my Sister's Windows XP Pro Upgrade disc and my Brother-in-law's Full disc. And they are nearly indentical. The only difference I could find was in 9 files in the i386 directory, the differences in the files are (it can be assumed) what implements the Upgrade installer's check for a previous (qualifying) version of Windows.
   This MS page explains how to do a clean install of XP (see the note at the bottom for Upgrade disc info).
   Comparisons were done by creating md5 signatures for the files on one disc, and checking them with the signatures of the other disc's files.

   It has been brought to my attention that the Internet access portion of the DirecTV service (called DirecWay), is a less than perfect service (i.e. horrible). Let me recount the experience of someone who has had the service (a friend who I'll call JR).
   JR was assured (and re-assured) when signing-up that if she wasn't satisfied with the service that she could cancel it and would just have to pay for the portion of the month that had been used (as long as it was canceled within the first 30 days). The service ended up being very slow and unpredictible, and when JR attempted to troubleshoot it with Tech. Support it was nearly impossible because their Tech. Support people were not fluent in English.
   Needless to say JR canceled the service (within the first 30 days), but along came the termination fees a $100 Service fee and a $400 Hardware fee (the $400 is refundable when the hareware is returned, but "Professional De-Installation" is another $100). JR was never told about any of these fees, quite the opposite, she was assured exactly what she would have to pay and it didn't include a $400 or even $100 fee.
   JR is currently disputing the charge to her credit card and has this to say about DirecTV: "Complete and total Scam artist at work here."

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   Ever heard the old adage: "The squeaking wheel gets the grease." Well, Error Reporting lets MS know that there's a squeak. And the Service Packs along with other updates are the grease. Here's a page which details what data is sent to Microsoft and how it's handled.

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   Email is not exactly free, there's no per-email charge (under normal circumstances), but last time I looked I still pay an ISP for internet access.
   But more importantly, Levy assumed that the payment for sending email would be made with money. The "payment" that is being suggested would be made with the computer's spare clock cycles. Upon sending an email, the sender's computer would be asked to solve a complicated math problem.
   For instance, let's say the math problem took ten seconds to solve. To send 20 emails, just under 3 1/2 minutes would be added to the time it takes to send the email. However for a spammer sending a million emails, they would require nearly 116 DAYS worth of processing power. (Note: At 10 seconds per solution you could send up to 8,640 emails in 24 hours.)
   Another potenial solution to the spam problem would be the inclusion of a CAPTCHA system which would verify that the sender is human (versus an automated spam mailing program).
   Further reading can be found here: Bill Gates' Proposal and this CNN News article.
   My thanks to Norman Lee for his help with this item.

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   Firstly, the ability to reboot a PC by pressing Ctrl-Alt-Delete is a function of the software (before Windows is loaded it's handled by the BIOS), not the hardware. And while "comes with" is the wrong wording, all modern versions of Windows handle the Ctrl-Alt-Delete combo themselves (instead of the BIOS). Windows 9x displays the Close Program window which also warns that pressing the combo again will reboot the computer and cause data loss. In NT based versions of Windows, Ctrl-Alt-Delete gives you the Windows Security window (in XP you go straight to the Task Manager). Note: For added security, NT can even be configured to require Ctrl-Alt-Delete be pressed before you can login.
   Secondly. Of course there is no problem with Ctrl-Alt-Deleting a system with no hard drive, because it is the hard drive's data that is at risk when it gets rebooted suddenly. The problem arises from the fact that modern Operating Systems write file data to a cache (in RAM) for later writing to the drive. Any data that is in the cache that hasn't yet been written to the drive will be lost if the computer is turned off or reset without going through the proper steps to shut it down (i.e. Start, Shut Down).
   Lastly, my statements on Moon-data storage are in the September 7, 2003 item. In support of my postion I suggest the reading of this article.

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   Levy's solution is somewhat valid, but his facts are wrong. Booting XP Home into Safe Mode doesn't override the password but rather gives you access to an account which by default has a blank password (it's the Admin's account). However if the Admin's password has been changed, you would need to enter the proper password to log in. Take a look at the Note at the top of this MS article.
   In Windows XP, before you forget the password you can create a Password Reset Disk. If the password has already been forgotten a tool such as this one may be able to recover it. Be aware that you use such a program at your own risk.

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   Under the hood that Dog is something called a Microsoft Agent, and while Windows XP comes with just the Dog you can get other Agents. This Microsoft page has four of them that you can download, a Genie, a Wizard, a Bird and a Robot. MS Office also comes with some other Agents.

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   A patch is not the same thing as a Service Pack. A Service Pack is a collection of fixes for the Operating System. Within a Service Pack are whole files which replace those already on the system. A patch however contains only the new code that needs to be applied, not the whole file. Patches are also usually for a just single file or product, whereas a Service Pack covers any part of Windows that needs fixing (or adding to).

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   The positioning of the chips has nothing to do with making it a SIMM or a DIMM. A SIMM is so called because it has a single row of contacts, the contacts on both sides are connected. But with a DIMM there are two (or dual) rows of contacts, because the contacts on one side don't connect with those on the other.
   A 72-pin SIMM has all 72 pins on each side, not 36 on one side and another 36 pins on the other side. DIMMs however, since they have two rows, do have half their pins on one side and half on the other (which he did state, and was correct).
   Finally, the instructions Levy gave for removing and install RAM were correct. Except that they were for SIMMs and won't work for DIMMs since they insert differently. To remove a DIMM you pull the tabs from the ends of the DIMM, which causes it to be pushed out of the socket. This page has the steps for installing a DIMM. Personally I've never been able to install a DIMM with it perfectly parallel to the socket, I've always had to push one end in then the other.
   Here's a picture showing two DIMMs (a double-sided and a single-sided) and a SIMM (double-sided).

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   The Desktop icons that Tweak UI (XP or 9x/NT/2K) can remove are special icons such as the Recycle Bin, Network Neighborhood (now My Network Places), and so on. The file the caller had was not a special file, just a normal file with an invalid length filename. The way to fix it would be to open the Command Prompt and navigate to the Desktop directory. Once there, you can rename (via ren TOOLONG*.* SHORT.*) or delete it (with del TOOLONG*.*) using the * wildcard in place of typing the whole name.

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   Technological difficulties aside. The lawsuits that would ensue would keep such a product off the shelves till it was obsolete. Beside which MS doesn't make their profits (when they do make them) from the hardware, but rather from the games and licensing fees (which is apparently typical in the Video Game industry).
   From a business stand point it doesn't make any sense because making a console that plays another company's games, only sells more games for that company.

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   How about instead of suggesting people destroy their phones, Levy suggest people donate the phone so it can still be put to use.

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   The Recovery Console doesn't "go out and try to fix" anything. It's basically NT's answer to the DOS command line, and does not repair the system automatically. It provides a means to recover a system through the use of different commands. A list of the commands can be found at this Microsoft page.

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   Being an artist and programmer I know my share of copyright law, and one thing you cannot do is copyright your name. Why not? Well there has to be some level of creativity put into the work, and for things such as titles and slogans they are so short that it would not be hard for someone else to come up with the same thing. Names (not people ones), tag-lines/slogans and things that have just a few words can be trademarked. But a trademark only prevents someone from using the mark in the same capacity as the owner. So if "Jeff Levy on Computers" was trademarked I could still say it all I wanted but I couldn't have my own show named that. In addition, links are public fact and can't be copyrighted either, same as street addresses.
   And even though the whole show has an automatic (un-registered) copyright upon creation, I can quote Levy willy-nilly under 'fair use' because: A. It's a non-substantial portion of the work. and B. It's being used for criticism/news reporting/teaching.
   Here's an mp3 file of Levy's statements (the 3 beeps replace Shapiro's explaination of the process).

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   The caller could've had a virus infection, so suggesting an update would be prudent. However there are other causes as well.
   Spammers normally don't use their own email addresses in the 'From' field. Should your address be the one they use, then you get all the undeliverable email notices.
   Another possibility is certain viruses which use the addresses in an infected computer's address book for the 'From' field. Making it appear that the email came from you even though it was someone else who was infected.
   Thanks again to Matthew.

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   That won't work and here's why. When Norton quarantines a file it encrypts it, which is like turning the statement: "The sky is blue" into "{7%bT34(HIt$." Encrypting the file stops it from causing harm to the system, it also prevents other virus scanners from finding it.

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   Just a clarification, the "viruses and things" that attack MS Office: A. Don't actually attack the product, but rather use the product to attack the system. B. They are more commonly called Macro Viruses, a macro is a set of instructions used for controlling an application. In the case of Office it is the VB scripting language.