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The Kristy Kronicles - Font by Tom Murphy http://fonts.tom7.com

   In my family we have what's called a "Kristy-fact". A Kristy-fact is something Kristy believes to be real or the truth, but in reality is completely false.
   Some of the most famous Kristy-facts are listed here.
Super-Gump

   -After using my father's nose-hair trimmer. She kept complaing that she was "getting too much air" through her nose.
   -Kristy did not know that Smallville was about Superman.
   -She once asked where the tracking was on a DVD Player.
   -She thought that, "as long as you keep the engine running you can drive on empty."
   -Did you know that the Grand Canyon is in Colorado.
   -The Koopas in Super Mario Bros. were ducks.

A what!?...in training.

   It was October 1996, and Kristy called into Kevin and Bean to tell them of her discovery on TV the night before. Hear's the audio, WMA, MP2, or MP3.

Fact-o-Rama 4 - Revenge of the Facts

   -Fish are mammals.
   -Kristy tried using Sudafed (instead of Benadryl) as a sleep aid, and ended up with an irregular heartbeat and no sleep.
   -She once convinced all her co-workers that the horrible odor they were smelling was coming out of a phone jack on the wall. In reality it was her gas.
   -At a restaurant Kristy wanted a salad, "with no vegetables."
   -West Nile virus was brought to the US by mosquitoes who flew over the ocean.
   -I was complaining about a pen that leaked on my finger, and not even God knows why Kristy came into the room and asked, 'Where's the spider?"
   -Mother: "Roosters don't lay eggs!", Kristy: "Why not?"
   -While watching the movie 'WindTalkers.' Kristy misread the subtitle "Saipan," and exclaimed that she didn't know "Japan owned The Spain."
   -The George Michael song "Faith" was originally by Elvis.

Fact-o-Rama 3

   -John Wayne was a fictional character played by Henry Fonda.
   -Hermaphrodites are an urban legend.
   -William Shatner speaks es-pan-detto.
   -Armada is pronouced "Armadia."
   -While driving past the Nixon Libary and Birthplace, Kristy asked, "Why was Nixon born in a libary?"
   -Kristy wanted to move to the Netherlands, "'Cause that's where the Highlander was from."

She must live in a cave

   Kristy saw all of SW EP2: AOTC without knowing that Anakin would eventually become Vader. It wasn't 'till a few hours later that she was informed of this fact.

Driving Lessons

   -While driving home, Kristy came to an intersection. She had a narrowing window of opportunity, and my Dad said she could "Go." But, Kristy couldn't get the car to move, then her friend started yelling "No," and Dad was yelling "Go," and Kristy still couldn't get the car to move...until she realized, she had to press the gas peddle.
   -At another intersection, she was in the turn lane, and since there was no light for that lane, she figured that other RED light facing her direction didn't apply, so she turned anyway. When asked why she did it, she said: "It didn't apply to me."

Olympic Sport?

   While trying to put her foot behind her head and fart at the same time, Kristy fell out of her chair hit her head on a bookcase, and landed on the floor complaining. And, since the Olympics were still taking place, my Mother gave her a 5.8, I however was paid-off and gave her a 3.0.

Fact-o-Rama 2 - The Next Generation

   -"Kathrine Muldoon" was on ST:Voyager (not Kate Mulgrew).
   -There's the "Ginsaw" knife.
   -One of the Star Trek movies was named, "The Search for Home".
   -The Captain on Star Trek:TNG was named "Pi-kirk".
   -Frances McDormand went in the wood chipper at the end of 'Fargo'.
   -"Vanilla Ice-T" was in the movie 'Set it off'.
   -John Travolta was in 'Battlestar Galactica'.
   -She suggested we watch "Who wants to win a millionare?"

What's that taste like?

   -Kristy likes putting things in her mouth that don't belong there.
   -At least twice, have I heard of Kristy chewing on a pen until it leaks on her.
   -One time when trying to open a tube of hair conditioner, she decided to bite the cap and twist/squeeze the tube. When it finally opened, she wasn't very happy.
   -While chewing on the bottom of a water bottle, she realized that gritty stuff in her mouth was dirt from the floor where the water bottle was stored.
   -When giving her food order she mistakingly said, "I would like some dressing with blue chesse."
   -Another time, when asking what someone wanted, she asked, "You want chicken skins?"

Apocalypse WOW

   -'Apocalypse Now' was a "gay romp".
   -Mira Sorvino won an academy award for 'Apocalypse Now'.

Fact-o-Rama

   -The "Boyles" are an "Irish tribe".
   -The movie 'Beethoven' starred "Charlie Gordon" (not Charles Groden).
   -Mike Myers was born in "Canadia" (not Canada).
   -Brooke Shields was in the movie 'Hudson Hawk'.
   -A Monarchy is a butterfly (She claims she was only joking, when she said that).
   -Ted Danson was in the movie 'Drop Zone'.
   -The "South...no the North" won the Revolutionary War.
   -There's a movie called 'Before night falls in the garden of good and evil'.
   

"ughh"

   Kristy has been seen many a time shaving her sweaters. When asked why, her response is something along the line of, "because when you wash it, it gets all ughh" or "'cause it's got fuzz on it".

Kristy

Copyright 2005 - Ken Nign

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