So we went to Best Buy, the one at 3415 E. Foothill Blvd in Pasadena, CA. Having bought from Best Buy before, I was quite aware of their tendency to pitch Extended Warranties. But the extra 150 dollors wasn't in the budget, and I wasn't going to budge.

While perusing the computers, printers and monitors we were asked if we'd like to apply for the Best Buy Credit Card, we declined. Later, we finally settle on a bundle which included a computer, a printer, a monitor, and a bunch of rebates (some from Best Buy, some from the manufacturer).

We found a salesmen using a pneumatic lift, and told him what we wanted brought down. He asked if we were being helped. "No," I say. To which he says, "Let me get someone to help you." He does. So we're now "being helped" by Mr. Sickly, who looks like he's started getting a cold or maybe Ebola.

My Sister and I walk him over to the computer, tell him what we want. We then go back to the lift. Now it begins.

While he's straping his sickly self into the lift, he asks: "Is this a replacement computer?" Oh god, I think. What can I say that will keep him from trying to sell me something? "No," I say. "Is this your first computer?" He asks. Damn, he got me. "No," I say again. "We're just adding to our collection," my Sister says. The salesmen is satisfied, till: "Do you know about the warranty?"

Still wondering what he would've tried to sell me had we answered wrongly, I blerted out. "No." Damn. Well he was probably gonna tell me anyways. He says he'll tell us after he gets the items down. Ohhh, I can't wait.

With the computer and monitor down, we walk back over to the display machine. He begins, "The manufacturer has a one year parts and labor warranty, but it doesn't cover wear and tear, and you have to pay shipping to them and shipping back. Which would be around $70. We have a three year warranty which covers everything, the DVD drive stops reading DVDs, the CD writer stops um writing CDs you bring it to us and if we can't fix it we'll replace it." Okay, I'll be polite. So I reply, "How much is it?" He looks at the tag. "$150." To which I respond. "Will, it's not in the budget."

But he's not giving up that easily. "How much is the budget." While I'm thinking, You nosy wanker. I say, "Just enough for the computer." "Well how much is the budget?" He persists. "About a thousand, give or take 20," I say.

Okay, now are you ready, this is classic. In between sniffles Mr. Sickly says, "Oh, it's gonna be way over a thousand." "How far over," I ask. Mr. Sickly says, "I don't know, way over a thousand." He then tries to get us to apply for a Best Buy Credit Card.

So using my leet math skillz. I use one of the display machines, tap the WinKey+R, type calc, hit enter. And begin to add up the items and add in the tax, the total comes to $1006. Then he whips out his trump card. "Well the printer doesn't come with a cable or any ink." We ask how much those are, but since he wasn't sure, he would have to check. In the meantime he decides to interrogate me about if we have a surge protector, "yes," do we have a UPS, "yes."

We all go to the area where he had stored the monitor and computer, and he loads them onto a cart. He then says he has to go get the printer, he comes back with the printer, then leaves again. Now are you ready for this one: The next time we see Mr. Sickly he's got a top-of-the-line gold plated usb cable and two printer cartridges (one color, one black), he then proceeds to place these item in our cart.

Again I'm polite. I walk over to the cart, and I ask him how much these things are. He says the cable is $30, and that the ink is $30. I ask him if that's for each cartridge. He says, "yes." I tell him that, "at the moment, these aren't in the budget." To which he meekly says, "Well, wait here and she'll check you out." And with that, Mr. Sickly left our lives, thank God. I then took the cable and cartridges from the cart and put them on a shelf with some network cards.

Now on to checking out. The clerk scans the computer, then the moniter, then the printer, and then she begins looking around inside the cart, she then asks: "Did you not get the cable and ink?" "No, it's not in the budget right now," my Sister says. "But how are you going to print anything tonight?" The clerk asks. "We won't," my Sister replies. "Okay." She too, tries to get us to apply for a Best Buy Credit Card, oh, and we can also get a 3 year Extended Warranty. "Not in the budget," we say again.

In the end we didn't get the computer, because Wells Fargo declined my check (the SOBs, there was more than enough money). It's probably for the best since Mr. Sickly flung the computer box around like it was a sack of pig snouts and entrials.

What did we learn:

1. Best Buy not only wants you to have their credit card, but also wants to sell you an Extended Warranty for everything, I wouldn't be surprised if they had a warranty for paper: "If you tear a sheet, just bring it in and we'll give you a new one."

2. They employ dishonest people: Not only did Mr. Sickly place items in my cart without my consent, but the check-out clerk expected the items to be there. That shows a history; part of policy (official or not). Convincing people they need ink and a top notch cable, is just a way to "nickel-and-dime" people out of more money: "I'll sell you a car for $50, oh it doesn't come with any wheels." By the way, the printer did in-fact come with ink. Which means Best Buy's acts could border on criminal.

3. I've learned a good way to answer their questions:

"Would you like to apply for a Best Buy Credit Card?" - "No, credit cards make me gassy."

"Do you have an isp?" - "No, I use carrier pigeons."

"Would you like the 3 year service policy?" - "No, I heard they cause cancer."

"Can I help you?" - "Yes, tell me. Is the customer always right?"